Do You Want To Rekindle Your Relationship?

It is a very grand statement to suggest that you should read this, but I feel that what I have to share may give you some valuable food for thought. After all you are reading this because you want to get your ex back.

Although the circumstances of a break up can vary widely from couple to couple, there are a few simple measures you can take to help get your ex back.

We all know that when a relationship breaks down there is often the tendency to jump to all the wrong conclusions. I do not know you personally and so I do not know what you are going through or how the relationship began to fail. One thing is for sure, there are some common fundamentals that are similar in most cases when we start to lose the connection with the one we love.

Once you have identified areas in which you can improve, it's time to take responsibility for them. Tell you ex what you have discovered, but be sure to do it in such a way you are not qualifying it by blaming the root action on them. Saying, "I messed up but it was all your fault" does not come across as a reconciliation, it sounds like an accusation. Obviously, no one is going to want to get back with a person telling them its all their fault (think of it this way, if your ex said something like that to you, how would you feel?).

If we make a mistake we apologize however it comes with a "but", example "I am sorry but, you do not understand me". The keyword here of course is "me". This basically states that I more concerned with myself over you. So if you have done something wrong or your ex has stated there is a problem and done something, then you need to take responsibility. Remember it's all about the law of cause and effect and you need to find out what it is that caused the problem, then take responsibility, face and deal with it.

You are only half of the break up, though, and as such can only be half of the solution. Listen to what your ex has to say, too. Although some of what they share with you may not be easy or pleasant to hear, it's important to not react on a purely emotional level. Don't interrupt. You will learn a lot more about what is going on in your ex's head and heart by hearing complete sentences and thoughts than you will by interrupting them before they can qualify the first part of a sentence.

When you're done talking to your ex, take some time to think about what you each have said. Give your ex, and yourself, some space to really absorb the exchange. Think about what was said that can be improved upon. Gage how far you are willing to go to make the relationship work and how much faith you have in your ex doing the same. If you are going to get back together, you will never succeed unless you both view the relationship as a new, clean slate.

The difference in the latter question is key. Be sure the differences between you and your ex can be solved and are reasonable. You should also be sure you are motivated to get your ex back not simply because you are used to them being in your life and have become co-dependent, but because you truly want to build a life with this person.

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